Kass: would you be able to cut my arm off if it'd save my life
Mya: LOL
Mya: probably
Mya: I would scream no doubt
Mya: the entire time
Kass: oh my god laughing at the image
Kass: of you like
Kass: battle cry face
Mya: EXACTLY LIKE THAT
Mariah: If you want your bottle of water, grab it now.
Kass: You know me so well.
*turns the lights off*
Mariah: You might wanna...
Kass: *runs into the doorframe*
Mariah: Yeah.
Kass: Shut up I hate you.
Not even the blindest man can withstand my whiteness.
mariah (via hawkkass)
Mission Accomplished
Kass: I'M LAUGHING AND ALSO CRYING?
Kass: THAT IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY NOTE I'VE EVER GOT
Dear Hawkkass,
I wish you the best of best birthdays. To be eighteen, I congratulate you. You are now old enough to enter the Triwizard Tournament, to leave the Hobbit Hole and experience your own grand adventure. To smoke with Gandolf the Gray, and attend all Tony Stark specialty after-showings available for adults 18 years+ or older. This is the last year you could be drafted into The Hunger Games, but I’m sure you will make it. You can change your name to Hawkkass, or get a lightning-shaped tattoo on your forehead. No longer will we have to rely on Mackenzie’s mother when buying spray paint. You could work at a bar or become a stripper. You can vote, and you can also sue.
Kassidy, congratulations.
Happy Eighteenth Birthday. <3
Love, Mariah
Mackenzie: habbibityburfday
Kass: MY DEAR DUNNINGS AND MILLSES, BROWNS AND COTES, DESCHESNES, ELSHAWS, KOVALS, HOWSONS, AND PLOWMANS
Kass: PLOWMEN
Kass: TODAY IS MY EIGHTEETH BIRTHDAY
Kass: ALAS, EIGHTEEN YEARS IS FAR TOO SHORT A TIME TO LIVE AMONG SUCH EXCELLENT AND ADMIRABLE PEOPLE
Kass: I DON'T KNOW HALF OF HALF AS WELL AS I SHOULD LIKE, AND I LIKE LESS THAN HALF OF YOU HALF AS WELL AS YOU DESERVE
Kass: I UH
Kass: I HAVE THINGS TO DO
Kass: I'VE PUT THIS OFF FOR FAR TOO LONG
Kass: I REGRET TO ANNOUNCE
Kass: THIS IS THE END
Kass: I AM GOING NOW
Mackenzie: STOP NO
Mackenzie: CREY
Kass: I BID YOU ALL A VERY GOND FAREWELL
Kass: GOODBYE
Mackenzie: YOU HAVE NO RING
Mackenzie: YOU SPELLED FOND WRONG
Mackenzie: SO CLOSE
Kass: WHATEVER
Kass: IT'S GONDORIAN
My laptop overheated
[1:53:59 AM] dickbutt: i changed my name do you like it
[1:55:37 AM] Kass: i already renamed you to rach SO I CAN’T SEE IT HAHAHAHAHA
[1:55:38 AM] Mya: are you trying to
[1:55:38 AM] Kass: dickbutt
[1:55:41 AM] Mya: subliminal message me
(via vagueconsort)
Are we looking at a bunch of butts?
mariah (via hawkkass)
Mariah: is the reason you even eat at my house
Mariah: because I go downstairs with you
Kass: yes
Kass: texas would be the end of you
Mya: i would die in the heat
Mya: crawling towards the nearest ac
Mya: and just drape myself over the vents
Mya: and write my will
Kass: oh my god
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT
Iris: Your friend Kass knows that you're secretly Captain America
Iris: joke's on her because now you know that she's actually Agent Coulson
